Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Wisdom unhinged

Leaving aside the fact that much of humanity seems hell bent on causing as much chaos, death, destruction and tax evasion as possible before they die, I like to believe that there is sufficient good left in the world that it's not yet time to duct tape a plastic bag over my head.
Feeling better about the world can come from a greater understanding, acceptance of the many different types of people, or simply being able to have a bloody good laugh at the absurdity of it all.
We're taught that age brings wisdom, but that's clearly nonsense because most people continue to make mistakes their entire lives. Though you may learn through experience not to do something again, there's bound to be another opportunity to make an idiot of yourself just around the corner.
People try many sources in search of wisdom such as religious texts or the writings of the Dalai Lama who I personally have a lot of time for, but there are others who have the ability to put life's little mysteries into perspective, and as examples I've listed below a number of quotes from a couple of often overlooked sources - Terry Pratchett, and the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes'.
Hopefully some might put a smile on your face or give you something to think about.

Terry Pratchett quotes:

1. Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

2. A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

3. Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

4. An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

5. Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

6. Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

7. In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.

8. Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

9. The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

10. It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

11. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.

12. Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

13. It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.

14. Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.

15. Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.

16. The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

17. Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to.

18. The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

19. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

20. There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Calvin and Hobbes quotes:

1. A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

2. There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

3. I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

4. Reality continues to ruin my life.

5. Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.

6. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

7. Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

8. So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?

9. God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

10. In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

11. I don’t know which is worse: that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

12. Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.