Two and three quarter hours of pointless drivel, with my bum going numb and wondering if it was ever going to end.
This is not my usual feeling towards Tarantino's films.
Pulp Fiction is one of my all-time favourite films - to my slightly twisted mind a work of art.
Reservoir Dogs was great - and I can't hear 'Stuck in the middle with you' by Stealers Wheel without seeing the image of Michael Madsen doing his little dance holding the scissors.
Inglorious Basterds was a blood-drenched fantasy about WW2 that was clearly Quentin's thoughts about "Hey, wouldn't it have been cool if this had happened...", and I loved it even though it was historically bollocks.
Then we have Django Unchained which was a glorious blood bath with a top notch cast and a good story holding everything together.
So what the hell he was thinking with Hateful Eight is beyond me.
The basic premise is that a gang has set up an ambush for a bounty hunter who is transporting one of their number to be tried and hung. Their plans are messed up by the additon of two unexpected extra people, and everyone winds up dead. How the hell that plot got dragged out for that length of time is a feat in itself.
Of course we were fooled by the trailer which looked promising, and the promotional appearance of Samuel Jackson on Graham Norton's show when it first came out.
Knowing what I know now, I'm glad I didn't fork out to see it at the cinema, because even having paid fifteen quid for the Blu-Ray leaves me feeling ripped off.
The only question that remains is: who on earth rated this crappy excuse for a movie 7.9 out of 10 on IMDB?
Even the involvement of the bad motherfucker
himself couldn't save this one....