Wednesday, 27 April 2016

The penny drops

I regularly look at the statistics for this blog in the vain hope that maybe - just maybe - it might become a little more widely read.
Although there are clearly a handful of people who are happy to take a regular swim in the cesspool of my mind, I expect the majority of hits are down to people arriving by accident because they were searching Google for something else and immediately hit the 'back' button when they realise they've stumbled upon a page with more text than their limited attention span can cope with.
That's OK though, because I often do the same thing myself.

What has struck me as odd for some time now is that one particular post from March 2014 has had twice as many hits as the second highest viewed.
The post 'Blessed are the geek' has seen a steady flow of traffic since I wrote it, and for a while I assumed that was down to it being a bit of a trip down memory lane that others shared.
Today, however, the realisation dawned on me that the reason for its popularity is down to the bit where I refer to a character from the film 'Despicable Me 2'.
You see, Lucy Wilde is not just a slightly nutty, skinny, computer-animated redhead, but also a pornstar also known as 'Busty Buffy' whose looks are something of an acquired taste, but are balanced out by what is probably the most unfeasibly large natural rack you can imagine.
I have no problem admitting to enjoying my share of online grot, and it's surprising that I didn't make this connection ages ago. I've watched this womans antics a few times and I have to say that although it's can be quite interesting to watch gargantuan funbags thrashing around in sympathy with the input from one or two (perhaps even three if I remember correctly) incomprehensibly well-hung blokes, she doesn't really 'do it' for me.
That's why there's so much 'gentlemen's material' on the web - everyone likes something different.
Ask an enthusiast to show you some porn and you'll be met with the same expression of confusion you see on a barista if you ask for a cup of coffee in Starbucks.

Sometimes I deliberately use a song title or a quote for the title of a blog post out of curiosity as to whether it might generate additional hits, and with the hope that some of the unintended visits will result in people staying for a while to read a few other posts.
Not sure why this is, because I started doing this just for my own entertainment without caring if it ever got read. But once you find that there are a few people that enjoy reading what you've written, it does provide additional incentive.
What this proves so far is that because of the way search engines work, the most popular post of mine is in that position because more people search for porn than search for song lyrics.
Further proof will be given if this one proves as popular.

Definitely not the same thing.