Sunday, 20 December 2015

Hidden meanings

How often do we really say what we mean?
Personally I have most time for people who just come out and say what's on their mind, warts and all.
While some may consider such behaviour to be rude or a bit weird, I find it to be a comfortably reassuring level of honesty.
You know where you are with someone like that, without having to worry about such minefields as psychological manipulation or back-biting.

Most of us are guilty in our own little ways of not saying what we really mean. Sometimes we might do this to avoid hurting someone's feelings or because we find the subject uncomfortable.
My objective with this post is to uncover the real meaning behind the things we might say in everyday life that don't tell the whole story - not deliberately deceptive, but which don't convey the entire truth of the matter.
So here's a few of my own examples for deliberation. No doubt the reader will have others of their own, so maybe this is an opportunity for comments. Maybe...

1. "Let's have a quick wander round Currys[1] while we're here."
Translation - "We said about getting a new kettle, so let's go and look at all the cool shiny things for the next hour, come within a gnat's whisker of making a very expensive purchase before talking ourselves out of it, and leaving the store empty-handed because we've forgotten why we were there in the first place."

2. "Why don't we pop into town for something to do."
Translation - "Let's head towards town, see the enormous traffic jam, take a diversion, see another traffic jam, decide it's not worth the arse-ache, and go to the garden centre and have a cup of tea instead."

3. "Is there anything you fancy watching tonight?"
Translation - "I hope there's nothing you want to watch tonight because I fancy a couple of hours shooting bad guys on the Playstation."

4. "Looks like there's sod all on at the cinema again."
Translation - "There's a chick-flick you might enjoy, but I'll be buggered if I'm gonna waste two hours of my life watching that crap."

5. "I don't do Christmas."
Translation - "I detest this annual commercial festival of greed and gluttony that kicks off around October and doesn't go away until the new year when everyone else has cut up their credit cards and is wondering why they do it."

6. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to come."
Translation - "I really don't want to come and now I need time to think up a good excuse that won't cause offence."

7. "What do you fancy listening to?"
Translation - "There's no point me putting on what I want to listen to because you don't like my music, so make suggestions until you come up with something I can just about tolerate."

8. "There's a really nice BMW 318 with low mileage for sale up the road."
Translation - "Please tell me I should just go and buy that nice BMW so I can finally have a car I feel good about owning and driving."

9. "We ought to do a bit of spring cleaning."
Translation - "You ought to do a bit of spring cleaning while I hide in the shed and pretend to be tidying up."

10. "I've deleted my entire porn collection"
Translation - "I've deleted my entire porn collection, but in a couple of months I'll give in to temptation and start a new one."

Please let me - I've been really good....

[1] For those not in the UK, Currys is a huge electrical retailer.