Sunday, 29 March 2015

The arsehole factor

For a long time now I've been harping on about 95 percent of Audi drivers being complete arseholes. If there's a pair of headlights far too close in your rear view mirror there's a high probability that the four rings of terror will be lurking between them.
I kept saying that no matter how good Audis look or how well engineered they may be, I could never own one because I simply don't want to be associated with the sort of person that drives them.
Then I started to question my prejudice, because if I'm honest I often discover that such strongly held beliefs seldom stand up to close scrutiny and I'm left feeling somewhat foolish.

With this in mind I decided to spend a month analyzing the behaviour of other motorists, making a mental note of what cars were involved in displays of poor driving. Aggression, arrogance, bullying, lack of consideration for others, and general lack of skill or attention were the factors I was on the lookout for, and my findings have been interesting.
It should be no surprise that the largest group of idiots on the road turns out to be van-man, with the smaller car-derived vans being even more of a hazard than the standard Transit type. Reassuring to know that some stereotypes are alive and well...
Of standard cars, Fords turned out to be responsible for more examples of bad behaviour than any other marque, with Renaults a close second. How odd. Granted there may be an argument that perhaps Fords are very common and therefore this finding is slightly flawed, but I can only go by what I've witnessed.
Volvo, Seat and Volkswagen also stood out as being involved in incidents of poor driving, but by the end of week three I was getting a bit unnerved by the fact that every Audi I saw appeared to be behaving itself. Indeed many were even seen to be courteous to other road users by allowing them to pull out of junctions!
It seemed that my strongest belief about drivers of particular vehicles had been dashed against the rocks and I would have to retract all my previous accusations, stop having such outspoken views and change my way of thinking.

Then on Friday just coming into Cambridge on the way to work, I saw two outrageous examples of aggressive arrogant and downright dangerous driving within thirty seconds of each other, and can you guess what the cars were?
That's right...... Audis.
With a satisfying feeling that the balance of the universe had been restored, I concluded that arseholes will be arseholes regardless of what make of car they drive. However, if the arsehole is driving an Audi then you'd best beware.