Yesterday we decided to brave Cambridge as the boy wanted to get some clothes and the sales was a logical place to start. It was with some trepidation that we set off, expecting to be faced with enormous tailbacks forcing us to change our minds and return to the Zen temple of peace and tranquility we call home.
Drawing closer to our destination we became increasingly unnerved as the roads almost resembled that scene in '28 Days Later' when Cillian Murphy is wandering along a deserted Westminster Bridge.
We managed to get done with minimal hassle in very little time and even when we left the city the traffic was incredibly light. So what's happened out there? Has everyone finally realised it's not a bargain if you weren't going to buy it anyway?
The only thing I've got to face now is putting up with every man and his dog asking if I had a good Christmas, which I shall try very hard to answer quickly and simply without launching into my standard anti-xmas tirade which is already feeling a bit worn out from being used on everyone who had the bad judgement to ask that most ridiculous of all questions: "Are you ready for Christmas?".
Ready for what exactly? What preparation does it take to spend one day getting drunk and fat? I can do that any time so why should it make a difference that it's a day when the unenlightened masses are allegedly celebrating the birth of a mythical being to cover up the fact that the only worship really being carried out is at the altar of rampant consumerism.
But enough about all that. I've just made a large batch of carrot and parsnip soup, and am now contemplating getting the pressure washer out to remove the green stuff from the driveway.
I know the whole point of a holiday is to kick back and do as little as possible, but it only takes a couple of days of that before I'm climbing the walls with boredom and desperately seeking something to occupy myself - as long as it doesn't involve painting the house. The biggest question is how long the bottle of Jack Daniels will last....