I've come to the conclusion that my head needs a new hard drive installing.
I have all the symptoms that a PC exhibits when the hard drive is failing - taking time getting started, having to think about it for a while when asked to do something, and sometimes coming to a complete halt when a piece of information becomes difficult to access even though you know it's in there somewhere.
I'll be in the middle of saying something and the next word will suddenly vanish from my mind leaving me struggling to make my point or just petering out altogether. It's happening so frequently recently that I sometimes wonder if it's a sign of early onset Alzheimer’s disease.
The times I find myself wrestling with actually getting a simple word or statement out are on the increase and it's not as if it's complicated words I'm scratching around for but common everyday words that really should present no problems at all. So I suddenly find myself reduced to having to describe the word with increasing desperation until the person I'm talking to either guesses it or walks away exasperated. It's a bit like that mad word game where you have to describe something without saying its name... you know the one I mean... a bit like charades only different... ummm... oh forget it.
So far I've managed to make light of this when it happens - I just say I'm buffering (like when you're streaming video content and your connection's a bit slow) - but in the back of my mind I'm wondering if it's getting worse.
But I'm only 43 so surely it's too early to be losing my marbles. God knows I sometimes wonder how many marbles I have left and how long it will be before the last one is tentatively circling the drain before finally dropping out and rolling across the floor leaving me convinced it's 1977 and someone's nicked my commemorative Queen's silver jubilee toy double decker bus.
Fortunately, when typing this blog I have time to think about what I'm saying and can happily wander off to make a cup of tea or something while I get the wording right, then come back and have another go. If I was to try doing that in the midst of a face-to-face conversation, people would think I really had gone over the edge, and would be phoning for the men in white coats to come and take me away.
So if I'm talking to you and stop dead in the middle of a sentence looking vague and confused, don't worry. I haven't been shot up with horse tranquiliser and time hasn't come to a halt - I'm just buffering.....